December nights, winter nights

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I spend the first days of winter 2020 far beyond my previous home. Until now, my holidays smelled of christmas tree, gingerbread, borsch and bigos (polish christmas traditional cuisines) from neighbors. Sometimes there was a miracle, and the world outside the window was white from the snow. I pulled out all the christmas carols Cd’s that were in the house. I listened one by one cleaning the apartment and this is how I tried to feel the christmas spirit..

Every year, just before Christmas Eve, a friend came to me with handmade gingerbreads, or a tealighter in oranges with cloves smell. We hugged hard, while wished each other a good time. In the times where my mother was still alive, I ran to her house to prepare cheesecake and makowiec (a cake with poppy seeds). We hummed carols while dressing the Christmas tree.

My men didn’t like holidays – at least that’s what they declared. I created a festive atmosphere no matter what they thought about it, so I have beautiful memories. I remember the year when, as a scout, we went from house to house singing. Then I organized a concert for a children’s hospice. A year ago I sang with a choir in a nursing home. These kind of holiday events I liked the most.

There was a time when I was unable to prepare the holidays myself. Then my mother put me in her bed and I cried all the holidays. Then I decided that I would not write wishes to anyone. I hated texting rhymed greetings sent in bulk from friends. Since then, I have made my greetings only in person.

Today I sing the Polish song “On December nights, winter nights” going to the choir, where I get to know Portuguese Carols. I do not yet understand the words beyond “menino Jesus” (the child jesus), but I listen to the language and melodies.

Although I can only dream of the smell of christmas tree, but last week the island smelled of spices. I walked into the café, where round Christmas cookies reminding me of gingerbreads were baked. I didn’t think this one moment would wipe away tears of emotion from my eyes.

I went back home, which I now consider my place on earth, and I searched the internet. I found Sting, who, like me, miss a place from the past. This concert soothed my nostalgia. Music, smells and flavors take me where I want. Today I will bake gingerbreads and move where I want…
*For those interested in the song “On December nights, winter nights” by Maria Matuszewska and Jadwiga Urbanowicz:

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